Honky Kong
Honky Kong is a space accountant in the future. He is also, somehow, a television show character. History Childhood Reginald Goldkong knew from an early age that he wasn't like his Space Ape peers on Nar Kongaa. While the other Space Ape children enjoyed public masturbation, throwing their feces at each other, screaming incoherently, and running around naked, Reginald enjoyed wearing clothing, keeping himself neat and clean, making sense, and reading off-world literature about finance and business (as Nar Kongaa is largely illiterate and has no literature of its own). This behavior (along with his albinism) kept Reginald from fitting in with his fellow children and earned him the title "oggle blocka wogga", a title that Reginald is convinced is meaningless gibberish--but try telling that to a bunch of wild Space Apes as they're giving you a golden shower. Education Unlike his Space Ape peers, Reginald graduated from school with high marks in math (addition and subtraction being the only real math taught on Nar Kongaa) and earned several scholarships to some of the Space Confederation's most prestigious colleges. Remembering his childhood love of business and money, Reginald decided to pursue his dream of becoming a space accountant by attending Scheister University on the planet Juu. Blowing through a four year program in two and a half years and earning his Certified Public Space Accountant license a few months after, Reginald was offered a position as personal accountant to Fahktard Kahnt, the wealthy space station mogul--a position that he eagerly accepted. Current Employment Reginald has found that, though his job title is "personal accountant", he is frequently expected to perform tasks that would be better found under the title of "personal assistant" or "nursemaid". In addition to balancing Fahktard Enterprises' books, bathing Fahktard Kahnt, and administering Kahnt's daily suppository, Reginald is often tasked with collecting rent from the denizens of the Space Station Projexxx. This has put Reginald at odds with the "fly" space pimp known as Shizamablam! numerous times, the first encounter of which resulted in Reginald's earning of the nickname "Honky Kong". March Meekrat Madness 2010 Honky Kong is a participant in this tournament as a champion of the Stupid. He won against Fahktard Kahnt in the first round, wooing Murgatroyd, much to his dismay. He lost to Baggy Satan in the second round, losing his sanity to the musical "Rock Opera". Personality and Abilities Nar Kongaan Space Apes are known and feared for their strength and primal ferocity, but Honky Kong prefers to be known and feared for the strength of his books and the primal ferocity of his knowledge of finance law. Honky Kong is an avid reader of all things financial and is quite knowledgable in that realm. Outside of finance, however, Honky Kong is anal-retentive and displays several nervous tendencies in social settings, such as a constant fixing of his bowtie and glasses or stammering during verbal communication. Think "Woody Allen as an albino ape" and you pretty much understand Honky Kong's demeanor. Category:Characters